I know, I know... I’m supposed to write positive & uplifting things seeing as I consider myself a teacher of Personal Development. But to be honest, PD isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, so sometimes we need to touch base on the dirty deets.
And today’s dirty deet: JUDGEMENT.
I don’t care how saintly you think you are, we all judge at some point in our lives. Whether we are judging another person, judging an opinion, or judging a freaking baked good, we all have done it. We all have used it in our lives.
Judgement isn’t always a bad thing. But its definitely something that plagues the human race.
We judge people on their religious and/or political beliefs.
We judge people on their weight and appearance.
We judge people when they are at rock bottom.
We judge people when they are doing well in life.
We judge women for being a SAHM.
We judge women for being too career-oriented.
We judge men for being too insensitive.
We judge some men when they ARE sensitive.
We judge vegans.
We judge girly-girls.
We judge tomboys.
We judge people based on what car they drive.
We judge people on how they spend their money.
We judge people for eating an entire sleeve of Girl Scout cookies to themselves (I can say I have not been one to judge on this seeing as I have done this.... more than once).
We judge people on what we see NOW, regardless of what they could have experienced in their past.
We judge people based on their race.
We judge people based on their level of education.
Want me to stop yet??
It’s INSANE how much we judge others. Guys and gals, I am not free from the woes of judgement. I have been judged and have been the one dishing it out.
It’s human nature to judge. Somewhere along the way, someone taught people to separate themselves.
That person is a dick (judgement).
But seriously, we have really taken a turn for the worst with humanity. We are so NASTY to one another.
If a mom stays at home all day with her kids, she’s NOTHING compared to the mom who works all day and comes home to cook, clean, run herself thin, etc. UM, I don’t know if you have ever spent a full day with toddlers, but they are WORK.
But on the flip side, a mom who has a career isn’t a good enough mom because she’s not home catering to every single need of her child/children.
Then there’s the guy who shows zero emotion. He’s too hard to crack and this makes him unapproachable.
But the guy who DOES show emotion is weak and can’t be taken seriously.
Can I let you in on a little secret?? People judge what they don’t understand. And we have stopped even TRYING to understand one another. We’ve closed ourselves off to others, and then point the finger to say there’s something wrong with “them”. When in reality, we need to point the finger at ourselves.
If something offends or bothers you about someone, it’s likely that they are either mirroring a quality you dislike about yourself or they’re digging up some emotion within you that you don’t like to deal with.
For example, I have a really hard time with people who speak ill of their ex significant other to me when they have a kid with this person. As someone who grew up with divorced parents who strongly disliked and disagreed with one another, I can tell you that it has an effect on you to listen to them complain about one another. It triggers me even more when these people grew up in homes with parents who are still married to this day. I catch myself judging these people because it sparks up feelings of anger & sadness within me when I think about what their kid has to endure growing up. I, myself, have judged a parent for not doing what I think they should be doing and have had to stop myself because of the kid. Because I KNOW what it’s like to love someone so much who is being judged so harshly.
It never makes me feel good nor does it get me ahead in life to judge these people. So I have to ACTIVELY change the narrative in my head.
It’s imperative we do this as a human race. We have to start rewriting our narratives that are detrimental to not only society but to ourselves. Because who are as people and what we bring to the table is what forms society’s ideals.
We DO have the power to change the world and the limitations we feel are put on us by judgement.
It starts with the most important person in your life: YOU. And not in the “shut down and block everyone out” kind of way.
When you make a conscious effort to be and do good in your OWN LIFE on a daily basis, miraculous shifts occur. The world around you changes because your inner world does. Not the other way around.
When you stop judging others, others stop judging you. Crazy, right???
Don’t understand how someone could do something they way they’re doing it? Recognize that they’re showing up to life in the way they’re meant to. That can always change in the future as they learn and grow... something that everyone has a RIGHT to do.
Placing your judgement on someone is putting limitations on them in YOUR OWN EYES. Sorry to say, but you don’t have a right to limit anyone’s greatness. When you try to do that, you’re only putting the limitations on yourself.
And if all of THAT doesn’t spark a fire in you to at least become conscious of your judgey ways, then let’s keep it simple:
You don’t like being judged, so don’t judge others!
Now, can we all just make a pact to work on becoming a better person everyday so that we can truly be great to one another? K cool, thanks!
Carry on with your week!