One of the biggest things I have ever manifested in my life using the Law of Attraction (LOA) is my fiancé. Love is actually what brought me TO this amazing law, so I'm not surprised that it delivered in the most perfect way.
But it didn't happen over night. In fact, it took 3 years of using the LOA to meet my fiancé and six years of me being single. I've never been the girl to have a lot of boyfriends. I was too focused on school and track, plus I was terrified of the dating world. But I felt alone and wanted that one special guy to spend my time with. I was a lost, young adult and wanted nothing more than to have someone "fix" me. I wanted my broken pieces hugged back together. And I used to get beyond annoyed with the people who told me that in order to love someone else, I would need to love myself.
And then I turned 21. I had met who I thought was the perfect person for me right before I was leaving for 5 months to study abroad in Spain. Just my luck! I was fed lines of "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be" and I wanted to hurl. When I stepped off the plane in Spain, I wanted to turn right back around and go home. It wasn't long until I was clinging to the book and documentary, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, to try and make things happen between me and this guy.
I was far from loving myself at the time. I was embarrassed by my clingy ways, homesick like I've never been before, and depressed. I spent most of my study abroad days going to class, sitting by the river, and staying in at night. I closed myself in my room at my home stay and poured my soul into using the Law of Attraction to attract this guy back into my life. I was using the Law in all the wrong ways.
Something eventually clicked for me that things were not going to work out, but it wasn't while I was still abroad. The beauty of attracting things into our lives is that you're never given what you need until you're ready. While you're in the mess of it all, it might not seem beautiful. And it was MESSY for me. Soooooo so messy.
Had I met my fiancé in those early days of using the Law, I would have ruined it all before it ever really began. I needed to learn how to be open to any and all possibilities. I needed to learn how to love the number one person in my life, and that was me. Two years after coming home from Spain, I finally started to attract nice guys into my life. But rather than stay open, I once again tried to force things. There was someone I was interested in at this time, who was an extremely great guy! And so I wrote a list of qualities that I "wanted" in a guy that was painfully tailored to that specific person I was interested in. Thank GOD for the bigger plan of life because that was not the right path for me, no matter how great and nice he was.
There was one lesson I learned through that experience, though, and that was my worthiness. I was finally seeing that I was WORTH being nice to. And that opened up the flood gates for me to really step into my power and feel the love for myself that I have deserved for years.
One night, I sat down and wrote another list. This time, it was exactly what I wanted in a future husband and there was no specific person in mind. Lo and behold, the Universe got to work.
The list didn't beg for perfection. I am far from a perfect person and come with plenty of baggage. I wanted someone who would accept me for all that I am. There were non-negotiable qualities on my list like "treats me with respect" and "supports me in my dreams." Then, there were things like "has blue eyes" and "went to Penn State" that I could let go if they weren't met by my "person." My list consisted of about 20 qualities and I made sure I made something very little stand out, to let me know "he's the one." It was something I thought of at the top of my head and wasn't one of the mandatory qualities. It was something that would stand out. I read this in a book somewhere and loved the idea, so I put it to use.
It was the start of Summer 2015 when I made this list. My Poppop had just passed away and I was really coming into my own as a young adult woman. My Pop's passing made me really want to open up and LIVE, so I made it my Summer of Yes. I went out with friends more, said yes to things like music festivals and day adventures, and was open to dating.
And, to add to the "try anything" mentality, I signed myself up for a month of Match.com. Now, this was a HUGE deal in my book because I SWORE to anyone who would listen that I would never do online dating. I truly felt that if I couldn't meet someone in person, then I wouldn't meet anyone at all. Yet if a guy approached me in a bar, I was very wary of their intentions. Talk about sending mixed signals to the Universe!!!
The first month was rough. The guys I was finding to be interesting weren't responding to me and the ones who messaged me were far from what I wanted. Then, one day, a 50 year old man messaged me asking me for a date. I was 24. I wiped my entire profile clean and let my one month membership run out. And for some reason, a few weeks later, I was inspired to try again.
The first night my profile was live, I was scrolling through pictures and found a guy who lived in my town. He was cute, had dogs, and seemed to have a pretty good life going for him. I liked one of his pictures (which I still have saved to my phone) and went to bed for the night. The next night, I had a message from this guy waiting for me in my inbox.
And in 4 months, that guy will become my husband. :)
Making my list and surrendering it to the Universe to do the hard work was the piece of the puzzle that needed to fall into place for my love life to begin. So often we think we need to do all of the work in making our lives all they can be, but we forget to lean on a higher power. Now, if that's not your thing, then it's not your thing. But if you're reading this far into a blog piece about the Law of Attraction, chances are that you believe in something greater than you.
When I surrendered and opened to the possibilities, I was given Divine guidance on action to take that would bring me to what I desired. Ask, believe, receive. The best part, and this is often how it is with the Law and life, was that the action I was supposed to take was the action I resisted the most: Online dating.
While I'm not telling EVERYONE to go run and sign up for online dating, I am telling you to get the hell outside of your comfort zone for the things that you want in this life! And while you're at it, make sure you are 100% open to what could come your way. If you are still hung up on the same guy/girl or you're trying too hard to make things happen, you will remain stuck. And it won't be the Universe's fault. Lean on your higher power. Trust that when you get a feeling to act on something, it's coming from a place of truth and Divine guidance. Like Joe Vitale says in The Secret, "The Universe likes speed!" So when you get that impulse to act, ACT.
To start down the road of surrendering to the Universe, make your Love List. Write down the qualities you truly want in your perfect partner, without thinking of a specific person. Remember, everyone has their free will. So if you are not wanted in their story, it is their choice. Someone better awaits you anyway!
"Attracting the Perfect Partner" Checklist:
1. Write your Love List.
2. Put it in a place you can read it from time to time. If you're feeling like you're not getting anywhere, pull it out, read the qualities, and VISUALIZE that you are in a relationship with this person! Get into the feeling of what it will be like when you ARE with this person!
3. Make room for the relationship in your life. Is there space in your closet for this person? Do you have room in your schedule for dates? Do you have space in your bed for this person? I lived at home with my parents when I made this list and I was able to make it work (even though I had 4 years of college life mixed in with my 22 years of existence in my bedroom and closet). I also started to buy little things, here and there, for my future home with this person. That was fun!
4. Get out there! Do things you wouldn't normally do (as long as they are legal and healthy!!). Go to different bars or restaurants. Join clubs! Try online dating if you're a homebody! The thing you refuse to do is probably what will help you the most :)
5. Love yourself FIRST. Because when you do, you'll attract even more love! That's how this whole Law of Attraction works, ya know! ;) What you put out there is what comes back to you. Love yourself and others will too :)
I was a hopeless romantic who thought their fate was to be the crazy cat lady for the rest of her life. If I can hold on to the truth that my love was out there for me, I know you can too! And if you have any love stories using the Law of Attraction, please feel free to share!
Until next time,
Peace, love, & tacos.