I’m a huge bookworm. No secret there! So, it’s very rare that I skip out on the book section when I’m in Target. I’m also a huge Targetworm. Basically, I stand no chance in avoiding either.
On my latest Target escapade… Strike that, second to last escapade because I was there later that night as well. See, NO CHANCE.
Anyway, on my second to last Target adventure, I went to look at the books with just a sweeping glance. The book Girl, Wash Your Face caught my eye and my immediate thought was “This seems like a woman who lives life as a Tomboy as well! Let’s see what else there is.” There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I should also note that Girl, Wash Your Face was out of place on the shelf so to me, it was a sign I needed to get it. Also, I’m not sure Rachel Hollis is necessarily a Tomboy, but she’s REAL. And that’s what is important!
Let’s just say, I’m NOT disappointed! I’m not usually a quick reader because I get sidetracked easily, but buying this book on a Friday and finishing it the following Wednesday is pretty impressive for me. Somewhere, some other book nerd is reading this busting out their speed reading credentials. Step off, homie.
Most of the time I would just throw up an “Alert, Alert. Everyone go get this book!” post on Facebook after reading a great book, but I feel like this one deserves more than that. As I was reading it, I thought I was reading stories about myself. And the underlying themes almost go hand in hand with my own book, Spiritual Klutz (check it out on Amazon and Barnesandnoble.com!)
Rachel Hollis is pretty much the type of woman we need more of in this world. She’s willing to share the ugly and embarrassing in order to reach people, and that’s who I aspire to be; the woman who shares it ALL. Nobody likes a highlight reel.
I like that this book’s chapters begin with lies we tell ourselves and what we can do to dispute these lies. From weight, to death, to sex, to procrastination with anything in life, Rachel dives into what we can do to stop holding ourselves back so that we can be badass individuals!
While I definitely took something from each chapter, there were parts that hit home and made me cry. In a good way, of course. Because sometimes it’s just so damn relieving to find people who are similar to you.
And while we’re on that note, I don’t think this book will resonate with every woman. Do I think every woman could learn from this book? Absolutely, 100%. But there are some parts that may make some women roll their eyes and other parts that will have the Perfect Moms of Facebook sharpening their pitchforks, ready for battle.
For starters, she talks about sex. And not in the typical way a lot of women (or Cosmo) talk about it. Family of mine, if you are reading this, mayyyyybe skip over this part. Because it’s weird for me to think of you reading this and I prefer this to not come up on Easter Sunday in the middle of our Epper tournament. “Hey, wanna face me this round? By the way, I read your blog on sex.” NOPE. NOOOOOPE. I’ll throw my egg on the ground and cut myself out of the tourney.
Anyway, of all the things I resonated with in this book, her talk about sex really helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t like normal teenage girls. Well, maybe “normal” isn’t the word. I wasn’t like that teenager you would see in 90s movies/TV shows, going to parties and sneaking up to the bedroom to do the deed. If I had to identify my high school sexual knowledge with one of the girls from the movie Now and Then, I would be Chrissy. I was very focused on Track, getting good grades, and Track again. I had one boyfriend towards the end of Junior year and he was just as awkward as I was. That ended before Senior year and then I was single until I met my fiancé. 7 years of single-lady status. In your late teens/early twenties, that feels like an absolute death sentence. I was into guys during that time, sure, but I was also a pansy and super inexperienced. (Family, if you’re still reading, please for the love of GOD skip this section).
Eventually, getting into my early twenties, I was starting to get fed up with not having any romantic connection with anyone. So my “first time” was pretty much just a “let’s get this over with” type deal. But after reading Girl, Wash Your Face, I saw that I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t slept with someone back in high school. And that made me feel 100% better with myself. Honestly, being a female is really hard for me. I don’t like girly things and I am very sensitive and introverted with intimate topics. Sex being one of them. While I’m very lucky that my fiancé is the sweetest and most caring man on the planet, it can be difficult.
All in all, it was nice and refreshing to see that a woman in the public spotlight was open about not being a glorified sex symbol. I wish more woman like that would share their story. I’m working on it.
Family, you can read again.
Another portion that stuck out to me was a chapter (or lie) titled “No is the Final Answer.” Because guys & gals, that theme is ever so present in my life. And I’m sure it has been present in yours at some point as well. When we decide to go for it, whatever “it” may be, it’s inevitable that we are going to shit our pants at one, or multiple, stops along the way. Going after your dreams can be scary! Especially because there may be a million and one people telling you that you’re making a big mistake. Will you fail when going after what you want? Yes. Because without failure, there can be no success. There can be no lessons learned and no growth. If you gain success quickly with no effort, you’ve either gone through the failing & learning long ago OR you will not be able to keep that success.
I wholeheartedly believe in the Law of Attraction. I wrote a book on my adventures with it for Pete’s sake! (I really need to look into this saying… makes me giggle). But I do believe that if we don’t learn what it’s like to fail with some things, we miss out on learning our true strength.
When we hear “no”, we are given two options. We can throw in the towel right then and there or we can show ourselves how much we really want what’s on our hearts by going for it anyway. Maybe you’ll hear “no” from five different people, all who may be considered “experts” in the field you’re working to get into. WHO CARES?! They’ll be biting their tongues when you’re a flipping rock star!
The next topic, and this one absolutely hits home, circles around, then hits home again, is “I’ll Never Get Past This”. In this chapter, Rachel talks about the tragic loss of her brother. While I won’t go into details of what happened, I will say that I know what it’s like to experience the death of a loved one. While none of my family has passed away tragically, at 27 I have experienced the loss of twelve family members. And I can tell you, death shapes you. My mom passed away when I was 10 years old and after she did, it was like I was going to a family funeral every year. It’s something that you carry with you for the rest of your life. But the beauty is, you have the choice to let it affect you negatively or positively. Both may even happen. It did for me at least. I was always a kind person, but there was a very long stretch of time where I felt like I was a victim to life. Everything happened to me. While I still very much am influenced by my losses, I’ve been able to take my experiences and use them to help others through their times of grief and sorrow. So, my friends, it is possible to get past the hard times. You just have to open your heart to that and know that it won’t necessarily happen overnight or over a year. Healing takes time. And as I always like to say, healing doesn’t mean forgetting. So give yourself permission to heal.
I could write about this entire book but then you wouldn’t have to read it and that wouldn’t help Rachel very much. So, I’ll touch on one last topic/lie in her book and that is this: You Should Be Further Along.
I’m not sure what it’s like in your thirties yet, because I’m still three years off, but I do know what it’s like to be in your twenties. Or better yet, I know what it’s like to be in your twenties and be one of the first generations to grow up with your life on social media. The comparison game is at full throttle these days! Some of my friends are in grad school and some of them are in full time jobs. Some of them are bartending to fund their dreams while some of them are barely skating by altogether. Some of them are traveling the world and some of them will never leave their hometown again. Some of them are married, some of them have babies, and some of them are off gallivanting around seeing if they could be the next Hugh Hefner. The point is, we all have this idea of where we think we should be by now. And we can thank society for that one.
Imagine what life would be like if we all just minded our own damn business and focused on OUR life path. I’d feel a hell of a lot better, that’s for sure! We wouldn’t have to worry about Sally doing her thing and selling seashells at the seashore and wondering how in the hell she makes that a fulfilling living, while Joe Schmoe over here is the top of his firm and is dead inside. We could just really live and trust that we are exactly where we need to be right now in order to get where we want to go in the future.
If life seems like one big cliché it’s because IT IS. So roll with it.
Anyway, my hat is off to Mrs. Rachel Hollis because she absolutely crushes it in Girl, Wash Your Face. Ladies, check it out. Even if there are parts that don’t quite resonate with you (yet), you will be sure to get relief and some laughs out of it! Rachel, if you ever read this, thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You are a force and I hope your book inspires more and more women to open up and share their stories. Or at least be a little less tough on themselves!
P.S. I'm sorry you didn't get to marry Matt Damon. Your husband seems pretty cool though!