Life Happens FOR You: Ditching the Victim Mentality to Fully LIVE

One of my biggest habits I had to break when I started to dive into personal development was to break free from being the victim of life. Believe me, I have had plenty of reasons to break down and cry. And there was a very long period of time when I thought everything was happening to me. But it never got me anywhere positive to sit there thinking “oh woe is me.” In fact, it pushed a lot of people and opportunities away.

Truth is, we are ALL going to experience our fair share of troubles in life. They’re going to look different from everyone else’s, sure. But at some point, challenges are going to arise.

You have two choices: Ask “Why is this happening to me?” OR you can ask “How/What can I learn from this?”

It’s true, life is what you make of it. And you can choose to walk around kicking rocks thinking about how much you hate the hand you’ve been dealt, or you can rise up from the ashes and claim your inner power. You get to to choose the path you take moving forward. You get to choose to make it great!

So how do you that when it seems as if the world around you is crashing down? How can you get up after being knocked down? How can you show your face after facing “humiliation”?

By honoring your feelings. By honoring your feelings and then choosing new, empowering thoughts, which lead to new feelings.

It’s important to note that you are a human. There are going to be bad days! There are going to be days when you want to cry or stomp your feet or punch something (may I suggest something soft?)… That’s okay!! If you bottle things in, that will halt growth and keep you stuck. I want you to embrace those feelings.

But there is a difference between honoring your feelings and playing the victim. I have a shitload of annoying circumstances in my life right now, and believe me, it’s hard not to wallow in the pity I want to feel for myself. And some moments I do. I had a family member distance themselves from me for a reason I seriously don’t even know. It hurt me. I’m someone who wants to talk it out when they have an issue, so not knowing what caused this distance was upsetting to me. And it happened at a time when I had about seven other things tugging at my emotions. I launched into all the reasons why I couldn’t handle one more thing to my stress load, and then I stopped.

I had to stop letting this take away my energy. I had to recognize this really wasn’t even about me, but what the other person is going through. I had to remember that those who love me unconditionally are the ones I want to keep in my circle. I learned that God removes people from your life that don’t want to add greatness to it. We all deserve greatness. So we all deserve people who can help us experience that greatness.

I could’ve cried and moped around way past the few days that I did. I could’ve fought for this person’s attention. I could’ve kept my defense up and pointed fingers. But I honored my feelings, let them go, and recognized what this could do for me life. What lesson this was providing me.

That’s claiming your power. That is saying “I don’t want to be the victim” and owning your part in a situation. That’s owning your part in this life. Recognizing that life is working FOR you at all times, is one of the most amazing perception shifts you can experience.

It’s all about flipping your script and writing the story you want to see.

Not seeing the results you want to see in a relationship? What can you be learning about yourself in this situation?

Finances keeping you stuck in life? How can you open yourself to the infinite possibilities of how money can flow into your life?

Having a bad day? What’s GOOD about it?

Having a bad month? Again, what’s going well??

Can’t find a job? Use this as your chance to figure out what you REALLY want to do.

Did you lose a loved one? 1. Give yourself some grace and 2. Maybe you needed this to happen for you to recognize that life is so very short and fragile. You should spend it being the best you can be and enjoying your time here on this earth!

Going through a breakup? Maybe you needed to learn your WORTH.

Every single life situation can be flipped into a positive. It may not feel like it in this very moment, and you’re allowed to feel what you need to feel. That’s how healing happens. But trust that what you are supposed to see and experience in life is waiting for you in it’s own timing. Hard times don’t last. They build your strength and resilience. They truly can help you become an unrecognizable version of yourself (in a good way) if you let them.

It’s all up to you. Do you want the power to lay in the control of outside circumstances? Or do YOU want to be holding the controller?

I know which one I’d choose.

Claim your power, my friend. You’ll be so glad you did.

xo, Staci

Staci Speece